


Son, Life Does Terrible Things.

by Supernatural_freak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crying, Hurt, Lots of it, M/M, Sadness, Seriously don't read if you don't want to read about one of them dying, based off the song Terrible Things by Mayday Parade, if you liked twist and shout, it will be okay I promise, than youll like this probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-07
Updated: 2015-05-07
Packaged: 2018-03-29 12:14:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3895915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Supernatural_freak/pseuds/Supernatural_freak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the song "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade. You seriously have to listen to the song as you read this. </p><p>If you like having your heart broken please read this. Seriously though I am quite happy with the way it turned out so I hope you give it a chance. :) It's honestly pretty sweet and adorable if I say so myself. </p><p>Basically Dean tells the story of Castiel and him to their son Tristan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Son, Life Does Terrible Things.

**Author's Note:**

> Ironically enough as I am posting this the song came up on my playlist that this is based off of. 
> 
> I would like to give a huge, huge thank you to queenofhellodean. 
> 
> Also if you want to follow me on tumblr my URL is casorpiedeanwinchester. 
> 
> Enjoy (and remember the tissues.)

Anyone standing outside could hear the music blasting through the windows of a beat up old red jeep as it sped down the road. Wind whipped through its windows, making a mess of the driver’s hair as he sat there belting out the words to whatever pop song was currently playing through the stereo. Nothing in the world could ruin his mood. This was the best day of Tristan Winchesters life. This was the day he had finally gotten the nerve to ask Elizabeth Stone to prom. 

Elizabeth... God just thinking her name made his cheeks ache with a grin that refused to leave his face. She was the walking definition of perfection. With a curtain of golden hair, eyes that sparkled like morning dew, and a heart of pure gold, she had been his crush since freshman year but never in a million years had he ever imagined she might feel the same way. They were from two different worlds: Tristan was the artsy type; spending his days wrapped up in whatever piece of work he was currently working on. It wasn’t unusual to find paint somewhere across the young teen's face, hair, or even clothing. Elizabeth on the other hand was the captain of the volleyball team; athletic and popular, the type of girl everyone swore was only found in movies. So why in the world would she ever give Tristan the time of day? 

Somehow fate had decided to be on his side, however, and the unlikely couple got paired together as partners for an English project, much to Tristan’s chagrin. The teen just knew he was going to either say something stupid or do something idiotic to make her rule him out before he even got a chance. He spent the first half of the period staring at her with a pathetic look on his face, but then halfway through he accidentally blurted the words out without a hint of grace or coherency.

“Willyougotopromwithme...” he said before he realized what he was doing. A bright blush rushed to his cheeks when it dawned on him what potentially disastrous words had just fallen from his lips. Triston dropped his face into his hands and waited for the imminent rejection. 

Elizabeth felt her own blush heat her face as nervous fingers ran through silky hair. “I would love to,” she said in a soft voice, a gentle smile on her face. 

With a sharp jerk Tristin lifted his head to look at Elizabeth with wide, unbelieving eyes. “You’re serious?” he choked out, still trying to process the fact that this angel in front of him had just agreed to go to prom with him. 

She chuckled slightly, hair falling to cover half of her face as she looked shyly down into her lap. “Uh, yeah actually I had been hoping you would ask me.” Elizabeth said, an honest smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. 

The cheesiest grin spread across Tristan’s face and he leaned back in his chair with attempted nonchalance. “Awesome,” he said folding his arms behind his head, trying to act like he wasn’t completely freaking out. 

Elizabeth just huffed and rolled her eyes shoving him playfully. The bell rang than ending any further conversation. Tristan realized later that she had written her phone number on the edge of his paper, which only added to his already intense high of happiness. 

The rest of the day had felt like a breeze after that, he aced his quiz in calculus and managed to finally figure out the perfect color for the painting he had been working on for what felt like forever. 

So really it felt like there was no possible way that his day could be anything less than sunshine and rainbows. 

However, as Tristan arrived at home he noted that his dad’s 67’ Chevy Impala was sitting in its usual spot in the driveway. In fact it looked like it hadn’t moved at all that day. 

A small frown crept its way onto the teenagers face as he shifted into park and cut the engine. There was no way his dad would miss work for anything less than the world ending. 

With his back pack hanging heavily off one shoulder he made his way through the front door, shoving it closed with a foot behind him. His backpack hit the ground with a heavy thump followed by the softer thud of Tristan’s jacket. 

“Dad?” He called out slipping out of his shoes and looking up the stairs. Maybe Dean had just decided to come home early from work today. Suddenly Tristan was filled with excitement again, he could tell his dad about prom! The boy bounded up the stairs renewed with energy, ready to tell his father all about the beautiful Elizabeth. 

“Dad! Dad! Guess what! Guess who has a hot date to prom!” Tristan shouted out pushing Dean’s bedroom door open. The sight that greeted him however was one that made the teenager stop in his tracks. 

If you were to ask anyone if they had ever seen Dean Winchester cry they would look at you like you were crazy because Dean Winchester was the toughest and most emotionally constipated man around. Which was why Tristan could hardly believe his eyes as he witnessed his dad curled up in bed, his eyes puffy and swollen, red from what could only be hours of crying judging by the fact that he was still in his sleep clothes. 

Dean looked up at his son with wide, surprised eyes. “Prom?” he gasped out with a raspy voice making it even more obvious of the crying that had been going on. 

Tristan just nodded his head slowly not really sure of what to say. The air in the room felt unusually tense and hard to breathe in as the son approached the bed. It scared him to see his father like this without an explanation or even an idea as to what could have caused such a reaction out of Dean. 

The bed sheets were cold and stiff from the outside as Tristan lowered himself onto the comforter, “Uh yeah... Prom. I finally asked that girl Elizabeth I’ve mentioned a time or two” he said pulling back the blanket in order to slide into the musty bed with his father. 

Dean gripped a photograph in his hand tightly. No this couldn’t be happening, his son couldn’t be falling in love. His chest clenched in pain at the thought of his son having to go through the same agony that he did, the same grief and helplessness that Dean did. His precious child... no, Dean had to protect him.

“No... no, no, no” Dean muttered shaking his head and looking at his son with desperate pleading eyes. 

Tristan’s frown only deepened further, his forehead wrinkling as he glanced down at his father’s lap to see a crinkled, and obviously much loved photograph wearing away in his fist. The photo contained a happy picture of Dean curled protectively around Castiel, Tristan’s papa, who was holding a baby Tristan in his arms. Dean’s eyes had a sparkle in them that no one ever saw now accept when he looked at Tristan. 

The boy swallowed thickly. He didn’t know much about Castiel, accept that he had passed away when Tristan was merely two years old and that Dean had loved him more than anything in the world not including Tristan. 

When he was younger, Tristan would crawl into Dean’s lap and ask him to tell him stories about his papa, the blue eyed angel, as Dean always called him. However the stories never came for Dean would always get this pained, glassy eyed look in his eyes and grip Tristan really tightly to the point it would almost scare the boy. Then he would end up drinking himself stupid when he thought the boy was tucked into bed. Tristan quickly learned not to ask about his papa. 

“Dad? What is it?” Tristan asked in a gentle voice almost as if he was talking to a wounded animal. He was completely out of his element here. 

Dean shook his head, “Tristan you can’t! You can’t fall in love.” He said turning to grip his son’s wrists. His hands felt clammy and cold where they touched Tristan’s skin but there was no doubting the strength in them. “I... I need to tell you something...” Dean whispered out trailing off for a moment as his eyes glassed over in that all too familiar way. 

The room suddenly felt as if the walls were closing in on Tristan, his chest felt to tight and the air frigid against the skin of his arms. Goosebumps trailed up the back of his neck and everything else in the house felt eerily quiet. He nodded his head unable to form words on his tongue. Dean had never acted like this before in all of Tristan’s 17 years. 

His father took a deep, shuddering breath, “Today... today is the day I tell you the story of your papa and I. It’s...” a pregnant pause followed by another breath, “It’s time you know what happened, why life does terrible things.” 

 

The air was cool and dry as Dean walked into his third period English literature class. He hated English with burning passion. To him it was probably the most pointless class out there because seriously who cared what some old guy wrote a hundred years ago? What was his reasoning for writing his novel? Well maybe he just wrote it to freaking write it! Not that Dean didn’t enjoy reading, he just hated English. However, he still made the effort to come every day because of the blue eyed angel that sat in the front row. 

Castiel Novak, top of their class, captain of the track team, and the most beautiful person to ever walk the planet Earth. They were both seniors this year and it was the first year Dean actually had Castiel in any of his classes. 

The teen had been crushing on Cas since freshman year when he accidently hit the other boy with a football. It was an honest accident and Castiel had just shrugged his shoulders slightly and run a hand through his long, perpetually messy brunette hair before walking off. It was from that moment on though that those crystal blue eyes, or maybe they were azure blue, damn it was hard to tell they were just so gorgeous, were ingrained in Dean’s memory. He secretly kept tabs on all the track events and scores and would sneak peeks of the other boy at lunch when his friends weren’t paying attention. 

Dean had yet to find the courage to actually talk to the other boy. They were from two opposite worlds with Castiel being from a rich, well known family and Dean nothing more than the son of the local mechanic. Dean sighed and sat down in the back of the class unable to help stare as the young man sauntered into the classroom on his long graceful legs. Castiel settled into his chair at the front of the glass, his gaggle of friends settling in around him. 

"Good morning gals and gents!" Mrs. Harvelle said as she stood up from behind her desk her rolling chair making a god awful squeaking noise in the process. "So today we are going to start our end of the year projects. You're going to have partners and I am going to assign them." There was a collective groan from everyone in the room. Mrs. Harvelle rolled her eyes, "Oh I am pretty sure you all will survive this one time. I actually want to see good work for once and not the crap I always receive when I allow you to pick you partners." 

Dean started doodling on his paper as Mrs. Harvelle kept talking. Honestly he didn't mind having his partner assigned considering his lack of actual friends in this class and it would keep him from being jealous of all the people trying to get Castiel to be their partner. 

Mrs. Harvelle started to list off the pairs and people began shuffling their desks around as they joined up with their assigned partners. Dean wasn't really paying attention figuring that his partner would find him when suddenly a desk scraped up against his and a deep, rough voice spoke up, sending shivers down Dean's spine. No... no way was this happening. Dean's mouth suddenly felt like a desert as he looked over at the boy sitting next to him. He found himself looking into a pair of beautiful blue eyes surrounded by familiar tufts of brown hair. "You're Dean right?" Castiel said settling in next to Dean with a small smirk on his face. Dean just stared, unable to convince his tongue to form words. Castiel's smirk widened, "I will take that as a yes. So the project..." and the rest of class went by with Dean staring at Castiel like a hopelessly lost puppy dog. He watched the other boy’s lips and his eyes, the way he talked with his hands as he explained things to Dean even though he didn't understand a single thing. Dean felt himself falling more and more for the teenager sitting across from him. Dean jumped when the bell rang, startled out of watching Castiel's hypnotic movements. 

Dean glanced up as the other kids gathered their things and tried not to blush like a hormonal teenage girl as he too clumsily gathered his belongings. Dean walked out next to Castiel feeling more than awkward as he noticed the heat and electrical air of the other boy drift towards him. 

"So here's my number. I figure we could get together this weekend and hash this project out pretty quickly. My parents are out of town so we'll have the house to ourselves." Castiel said as he held a piece of notebook paper out to Dean. 

Dean barely managed to tell his hand to grab the paper without having a totally freak out. Damn he felt like such a girl. "Uh... yeah okay sounds good dude," Dean cringed, realizing just how stupid that probably sounded. 

However Castiel just smiled and nodded his head before hooking his book bag over his shoulder and walking off. He was quickly surrounded by his usual group of friends, causing Dean to lose sight of him pretty fast. 

Dean stood there for a moment just trying to process everything that had just happened. In the span of one class period he had managed to not only talk to Castiel but also get his number and make plans to meet up this weekend. Holy hell. A huge smile lit up the teen’s face as he turned and quickly rushed off to his next class, the bell already ringing. 

The rest of the week went by as one giant blur yet it still felt like the longest week ever. Dean was giddy and nervous about this weekend, over thinking every little detail that he possibly could. He barely slept, instead his mind raced with so many different scenarios of the impending weekend. 

Finally Saturday morning dawned bright and warm. Dean dressed in his usual t-shirt and jeans before shooting Castiel a text asking him what time he would like him to come over. 

The response was almost instantaneous making Dean assume Castiel was practically waiting by his phone. The blue eyed teen informed Dean that he should come over for lunch at noon making Dean wonder if Castiel was planning on cooking for him. His stomach did flip flops at the idea automatically thinking about how much he would love for this to be a date. But Dean shook his head. No way could he let himself think of it like that because there was no way Castiel would ever think of him like that: he wasn't good enough. 

Dean sat watching TV while he waited for twelve o'clock to roll around-- more like he attempted to watch TV but his mind was elsewhere. All he could think about was Castiel’s and his smiles; the way he would bite his lip when he was concentrating. Dean shook his head and shifted his thoughts to more pressing worries. What would he say? What if he did something stupid? 

At 11:30, Dean pushed himself up from the cracked leather couch and grabbed his car keys. He took a couple of deep breaths to try and steady himself before making his way out to his beloved Impala. 

The ride to Castiel's house only took about ten minutes, but it felt like forever to the teenager. Once he arrived, Dean tried not to gawk at the huge house in front of him. Mansion would really be a more accurate description of the dwelling standing before him.The place was surrounded by huge oak trees with a perfectly mowed lawn. The front walk way was lined with flowers of all sorts. The house itself looked like it was made of white marble. It was gorgeous. Dean made his way towards the French glass doors on nervous legs feeling like a newborn foal learning how to walk. Castiel probably had people to cook for him and with a huge buffet laid out for lunch or something. Dean had never realized this was how rich the other boy was. 

Dean stood in front of the doors not sure whether he should knock or ring a doorbell or get back in his car and drive away. He felt so completely out of his element here in both a physical and emotional sense. Just as he decided that maybe he should just turn around and run away right across the pristine yard and hide in his car, the door swung open and Castiel was standing there in a pair of low riding sweat pants and a tank top. 

"Hello Dean," the teen said with a grin, leaning casually against the door like he didn't look freaking amazing. Dean had to cough a couple times as he looked at anything accept the boy in front of him.When he was finally able to find his voice he found himself once again blushing like a 12 year old girl. 

"Hey there Cas," Dean said, resorting to the nickname he’d mentally given the other boy years ago. This earned him a slight head tilt as Castiel processed the new name, but a smile and nod confirmed that he was okay with it. Castiel stepped back and gestured for Dean to come inside. 

Reluctantly, Dean stepped through the front doors feeling as if he should have taken his shoes off outside. Everything was too shiny and clean. He quickly toed off his shoes inside the front door-- much to Castiel's amusement-- before following the other boy further inside the mansion. 

Castiel spoke up as they made their way into what Dean assumed was the living room, "I figure we can work some before having lunch." 

Dean shrugged his shoulders, "Sounds good enough to me." He said, settling down on a couch next to what looked like all of Castiel's homework spread out on the coffee table. 

Castiel grinned and settled in next to Dean close enough that their knees were brushing. Dean couldn't hold back the goose bumps that crept down his arms and spine just from being this close to the other boy. Pulling out a few papers and tucking a pencil behind his ear, -- and damn if Dean didn’t find that endearingly adorable-- Castiel once again went on and on about their project. Which Dean realized he still had no idea what it was about. Instead of trying to find out, however, he just decided to once again lose himself in those beautiful blue eyes, loving how passionate Castiel got about school and just life in general. 

"Dean. Hey Dean. Dean!" Castiel practically shouted, snapping his fingers in front of the dazed teen’s face. 

Dean blushed a bright red and shook his head, "Shoot, sorry I just kind of zoned out there." 

Castiel grinned, "Yeah I couldn't tell," he replied sarcastically. He paused for a moment and stared at Dean with his piercing blue eyes, "You tend to do that a lot. You don't think I do, but I notice how much you stare at me Dean Winchester." The blue eyed teen leaned closer to Dean making his breath hitch as he blushed brightly at Castiel's words. Shit, how was he supposed to explain that? 

"Uh... I..." was all he managed to get out before he suddenly found himself unable to respond as chapped, warm lips covered his. Dean let out a gasp in surprise but quickly regained his composition and returned the kiss with just as much passion. 

The two eventually pulled apart, breathless and red in the face. "I can tell you that the feelings are mutual," Castiel said with a smirk on his face. 

Dean spluttered a little bit but actually managed to speak this time. "But how! I didn't even think you knew who I was!" 

Castiel laughed a full bodied laugh that warmed Dean's entire being, "Oh Dean, trust me. I've known who you were ever since you hit me with that football freshman year." 

"But you're popular and I'm just... me!" exclaimed Dean, unable to fully comprehend this. 

Castiel sighed and shook his head looking sad for a moment. He twirled his pencil between his fingers until it went flying through the air and slid under the table. Castiel looked at it dejectedly. 

"Trust me Dean. I don't exactly enjoy my status at the school but it comes with the name. I don't encourage it. I would much rather hang out with you all day than be followed around by a group of people who only care about the dollar signs at the end of my name." 

Dean frowned and reached forward to cup Castiel's face, "Well you're always invited to hang out with me any day." 

Castiel leaned into the touch with a grin on his face, "I think I might take you up on that offer." Then the boy leaned forward and kissed Dean again. 

Their project never did get done that day, and the two quickly become a thing. One couldn't go anywhere without seeing Castiel with Dean or vise versa. The two were in love. It's said love at first sight isn't real but these two sure shot that one in the bullseye. 

They made it through the rest of their senior year-- they ended up acing their English project after all. They went off to college together and four years of hard work, and sweat; of fights, and tears ended with them still madly in love with each other. 

It was right before graduation of their senior year in college, and Dean couldn't wait any longer. He knew they were young and maybe a little stupid, but what was one to do when you’re just a fool in love. 

Dean gathered all of Castiel's favorite candles and food as well as his favorite kind of wine from the apartment they’d been sharing the past two years. He headed out to their favorite spot on a cliff where one could see all the stars and laid out a picnic blanket. He texted Cas to meet him there in twenty minutes and then Dean got to work making the place look like a wonderland. He lit all the candles and laid out all the food. The wine was laying on a bucket of ice to keep it chilled, and then Dean grabbed his guitar and started to softly play one of Castiel's favorite songs. 

Right on time Castiel wandered into the area and froze when he saw the sight before him. "Dean?" he called out timidly. The other man set his guitar down and went over to his boyfriend. Taking Castiel's warm hands in his, Dean led him over to the blanket and stood there. The light of the candles flickered off of Castiel's face, lighting up his blue eyes and causing them to sparkle like diamonds. 

"Cas..." Dean said, already choking up a little as he knelt down on one knee, "I love you more than anything in this world. I've loved you since the day fate decided that it would be a brilliant idea for me to hit you with a football." Dean grinned up at Castiel, who had tears forming in his eyes. "So will you do me the honors of marrying me and allowing me to call you my husband?" Dean asked as he pulled out a poorly wrapped box of paper and string. 

Castiel half-laughed, half-choked as he threw himself on to Dean. "Yes! Oh god yes!" He exclaimed, kissing the other man with all he had. Castiel quickly ripped the wrapping paper off and opened the box to find a simple gold band with small emeralds inlaid in it. It was gorgeous. 

Dean took the ring and slide it onto Castiel's ring finger, knowing that it would be a perfect fit as he’d used the man's high school ring to match the size. They kissed again, surrounded by candle light, the stars their only witness of their union. 

They spent the rest of the evening drinking too much wine and simply loving one another the way that only two people in love could. Neither one of them really had a thought about the future, they only cared about the fact that they had each other now. 

It was one of the happiest moments of Dean's life. 

Three years later the two found themselves living in a small but nice house leading a happy life. The only thing that was missing was a baby. They wanted to be a family, a whole family. So Castiel talked to his cousin Anna and she agreed to be a surrogate mother for them knowing just how much this meant to the two husbands. 

The men took care of everything. They made sure that Anna had the best doctor possible using the money the Castiel inherited from his parents.They got her the best foods and always made sure she was comfortable. Using Dean as the father, Anna caught on the first try and they began the nine month wait to see their new baby. 

The nine months seemed to pass impossibly slow for the anxious fathers waiting for their child to come into the world. Every month Anna grew bigger and bigger until she looked like she was about to pop. She blamed Dean, claiming it was because his family had such big genes. 

Finally, on an unusually cold October day Anna went into labor. Castiel was the one to go into the delivery room with her leaving Dean passing rather anxiously on the other side of the doors. Every time the hospital doors swung open Dean's head would spin around trying for even a glance of what might be his husband or son. The nurse at the desk started to even make fun of him, teasing him that he was going to literally burn a hole through the tile with all of his pacing. It didn't do much to calm Dean's nerve. 

After seven hours of labor, baby Tristan Allen Winchester found his way into the world screaming bloody murder. 

The nurses took good care of him, wrapping him up and letting Anna feed him before allowing Dean in to see him. At this point Dean was practically panicking wanting to know that everything was okay that his child was alive and had all ten of his toes! 

Castiel chuckled, amused by his husbands anxiety over the birth as he rushed into the hospital room, almost slipping on the smooth tiled floors. He reached out and took Dean's hand in his to lead him over to the bed. 

Tristan was beautiful. His eyes were a bright blue just like Anna's and Castiel's while his hair had the same blonde colored that Dean's did when he was a baby. They couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby. 

Everything was perfect, until it wasn't. 

It started when Tristan was around 19 months old. He woke up in the middle of the night crying due to an ear infection that had been bothering him for a couple days now. Castiel was usually the one to get up and comfort him but this time when Castiel tried to get out of bed he found his knees giving out underneath him before he even had a chance. 

The man had been feeling weak for a couple weeks now but he figured it was just a strange bout of flu or something like that. He didn't go to the doctors because he had a tendency to think he was invisible. However as he lay there in pain on the floor, Castiel started to rethink that. 

Dean shot out of bed as soon as he heard his husbands cry of pain. He stumbled to Castiel's side and knelt down next to him cupping hand around Cas's cheek. "Babe!!" Dean choked out his stomach churning with worry. 

Castiel reached up and gripped Dean's wrist, "I'm.. I'm okay. Just guess my legs were still asleep or something." 

Dean frowned completely unconvinced but he helped Castiel back up into the bed, making sure that he was comfortable again before hurry to comfort their still crying child. Dean picked Tristan up and gave him some of the medication the doctor prescribed them before carrying him back to their bedroom to sleep with Cas and him for the rest of the night. Tristan automatically clung to Castiel, knowing his papa anywhere. Castiel smiled lovingly and cradled the baby against his chest as he fell back to sleep. Dean settled back down next to them but sleep didn't come too easily to him. Something was wrong and Dean knew it. 

The next couple weeks went by with Castiel seeming to get weaker and weaker. Bruises would form on his skin from the smallest things and he would take a nap as soon as he got home from work, not even having the energy to play with Tristan. Everyone was worried. 

One morning Castiel even called in sick to work, something he had never done accept for the first couple months after Tristan was born. It was after that, that Dean made Castiel go to the doctors. He drove not trusting Cas behind the wheel in his state and then waited impatiently in the waiting room as the doctor talked to Castiel for what felt like an eternity. Finally after an hour and a half, Castiel came out looking more exhausted than ever and holding a bag with medications in it. 

"They took a couple blood tests and I come back in a couple days for some more tests." Castiel informed Dean in a soft voice as he leaned his head against his husbands chest. Dean wrapped his arms protectively around Castiel and buried his face in the others hair. Everyone else in the white washed room was forgotten as they stood there and just held each other. Castiel took a deep breath and looked up at Dean, his eyes still having that familiar spark in them that Dean loved so much. Dean connected their lips in a soft kiss and then took Castiel by the hand and led them out of the dreary hospital room. 

A couple days later Castiel went in for some CAT scans and MRI's. He didn't tell Dean what the doctor suspected. He didn't want to worry his husband in case it turned out to be nothing. 

A week and half went by since the test and Castiel was doing alright with the medications the doctor gave him. He was able to go to school and his students seemed to understand that something was wrong and were the best behaved they had ever been before. 

Than one evening Castiel got a call. Dean had yet to come home from work as he was trying to get in some extra hours while Castiel was feeling a little better. Tristan was on the floor playing with some blocks as Castiel picked the receiver up. 

It was everything he feared and he felt tears roll down his eyes as the doctor informed him of the options. Castiel thanked him and barely managed to hang up the phone before he became a sobbing mess. 

It took him a good thirty minutes to gather himself up before getting Tristan fed and bathed while dinner started to cook, awaiting Dean's arrival home. 

When Dean walked through the door Castiel smiled at him and kissed him briefly before handing him Tristan to put to bed like he did every night. Luckily the baby had finally gotten over the ear infection and was for the most part sleeping through the nights. 

Castiel finished up dinner, making sure that everything was perfect as Dean crept back down the stairs. "This looks delicious babe!" Dean said giving Castiel a quick kiss on the cheek before settling into his chair. 

Dinner was quiet, mostly just the sound of forks and knives scraping against plates. Dean could tell something was on Castiel's mind but he didn't want to push his husband knowing that he would talk when he was ready. 

Once they finished up dinner, they helped each other wash the dishes, playfully throwing water at each other and putting soap bubbles on the others nose. 

They were both laughing, wet messes by the end and Dean leaned Castiel up against the counter and kissed him slowly. It was perfect and Dean couldn't imagine not having this in his life. He pulled back and rested his forehead against Cas's. "I love you," he whispered afraid that saying it too loud would take away from the meaning of the words. 

"And I love you," responded Castiel just as equally quiet. He took Dean's hand after that and led him outside to where he already had a blanket set up on the grass. Before they had Tristan they would lay outside all the time and stare up at the stars together. 

Dean grinned knowing exactly what this was. He settled down and patted the spot next to him where Castiel eagerly joined him. Castiel laid his head on Dean's chest and cuddled close to the large man. Dean wrapped an arm around Cas and they gazed up at the stars together. 

It was a beautiful night. The moon was full and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky allowing for a perfect view of the twinkling lights in the sky. A soft breeze curled around their hair keeping the air from being too hot while the crickets chirped somewhere in the distance followed by the owl's hoots allowing for some background music. Everything was perfect. They laid there for an hour just whispering different things to each other completely enchanted by the night. 

Then Castiel sat up and the spell was broken. "Dean...the doctor called today," he started off in a small voice his throat tightening up. 

Dean sat up in an instant, his hands coming out to clutch Castiel's in his, "what is it babe. Come on talk to me. Whatever it is we can figure it out together." 

Castiel shook his head, bringing a hand up to cover his face as he gasped for air to keep from breaking down again, "There is no figuring out Dean. I'm sick. It's cancer. The doctor said it's stage four, too far along for them to do much. They can try chemo and radiation but he is pretty sure it will only prolong the invertible." 

In that moment Dean felt his entire world crash down around him. No, no this wasn't happening, he couldn't be about to lose one of the most important people in his life. "No!" Dean choked out practically collapsing on top of Castiel as he yanked the other man against his chest. "No! I can't lose you! You're my angel! My everything!" 

Castiel started to sob against Dean's chest. The doctor estimated a couple months at the most if he didn't take any treatments and he wasn't going to. If he was going to die, he wanted to go out as humanly as possible not with his hair gone and looking like a skeleton of himself. 

But Castiel hurt everywhere. He hurt for his husband who was going to have to live without him, for his child that was going to have to grow up with only one parent, for himself who was never going to get the chance to see his son lose his first tooth, or ride a bike for the first time, or graduate from high school. 

Dean gripped Castiel tightly, tears seeping out of his eyes but he refused to admit that he was actually crying. They sat out there for awhile just holding each other not knowing how many more chances they were going to get to do this. 

Than Dean laid Cas down and kissed him slowly. He kissed him everywhere, memorizing every part of his husband's body, worshiping every last piece of him for as long as they could. They made love for the last time that night, with only the stars and moon watching them. Just like the night that Dean proposed. 

When they were done. Dean carried a sleeping Castiel up to their bed and curled around him protectively, unable to sleep as he stared down at his husband. He couldn't convince himself to close his eyes. Dean was so afraid that if he did that when he woke up in the morning Castiel would be gone, nothing more than a memory. 

The next month was the hardest of Dean's life. Castiel got worse and worse every week. He was losing weight no matter how much they fed him. By the third week he was basically bed ridden, not having enough energy to do more than get himself to the bathroom and to shower with the help of Dean. He refused to go to the hospital claiming that there was no way he was going to spend his last couple weeks surrounded by white walls and beeping machines. Dean understood what he meant he knew that Castiel wanted to be surrounded by the ones that he loved. 

Tristan was being a star through the entire thing. Sleeping through the night and barely fussing about anything. Castiel would feed him every chance he got until towards the end when Cas got too weak to hold the child anymore. 

A month and a half after the diagnosis, Dean was lying not to Castiel one morning Tristan laying between them playing with Castiel's fingers, when he noticed that Cas was having a hard time breathing. "Babe!" Dean exclaimed getting up out of the bed and shouting for the nurse that he had hired to help out. He hurried to the other side of the bed and gripped his husband's hand tightly in his. 

Castiel coughed hard and looked at Dean the spark in his eyes having faded days ago. "You... you take care of Tristan okay... promise me..." he started to cough again. 

Dean's eyes swelled with tears as he nodded his head, "I promise.. I promise baby. I love you so much okay." he choked out and repeated again and again. 

Castiel smiled weakly. "I love you too." 

"My angel," Dean whispered watching and kneeling by Castiel's side as he took his last breath. 

Dean leaned against the side of the bed and sobbed against Castiel's arm. He couldn't be gone, the love of his life just couldn't be gone. Dean was never going to be able to see those blue eyes again, or that beautiful smile. His life would never be the same. 

Dean's brother Sam came to take care of all the arrangements since Dean was basically a shell, doing nothing more than cradling Tristan against his chest. He had promised Castiel he would take care of Tristan so taking care of Tristan was what he did. 

The day of the funeral dawned bright and beautiful. Birds were chirping happily, the sun was shining through the clouds, and the breeze kept everyone from sweating in their clothes. Dean hated it. It was just the type of day that Castiel loved. He would have insisted that they go for a walk in the park, maybe even have a picnic. 

Dean's fingers were numb as he tied Castiel's favorite tie around his neck and slipped his husbands ring, now on a gold chain, around his neck. 

Sam drove to the funeral while Dean sat in the back seat with Tristan watching as everyone went on with their lives while Dean's was falling apart. The funeral was small and simple and Dean didn't even remember most of it. Sam said some words as did Anna but Dean couldn't bring himself to say more than, "Cas... You will always be my love, my angel, my everything." 

He buried his face in Tristan's hair and sat back down again. The young child had no idea what exactly was going on but he understood that he needed to remain quiet and clung back to his daddy. 

Eventually, everyone cleared and Sam took a sleeping Tristan home leaving Dean to stare at a fresh pile of dirt. He laid down some flowers on the brown soil while water drops fell and joined the mix of dirt and flowers. Dean looked up at the sky for a moment thinking it was raining until he realized it was coming from his own eyes. Dean couldn't hold back anymore and he collapsed to his knees in the dirt letting out a scream up towards the clear afternoon sky. Tears streamed from his eyes as he collapsed forward into the dirt, heaving and sobbing. His knees burned and his head hurt but Dean didn't care. Castiel was gone. His body nothing more than skin and bones buried under the ground. 

The wind picked up suddenly, sweeping through Dean's hair and making the branches of the leaves sway above Dean's head. The broken man lifted his head and closed his eyes letting the wind sweep across him. He had promised Castiel that he would take care of Tristan, he couldn't fall apart now, Castiel would never forgive him if he did. 

So Dean gathered himself up, brushed the dirt from his knees and shed the last of the tears he would for the next 15 years. 

_____________________________________________________________________________  
Tristan threw his arms around his father's neck and buried his face in his neck as he climbed into his lap like he was five years old again. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered out not knowing what else to say. He knew it had been bad but Tristan never realized just how much his papa and father had meant to each other, just how special their love was, and just how fast his papa went. 

Dean gripped his son back, unable to shed anymore tears. "Today would have been our 20th anniversary," said Dean softly as he pulled out the necklace still containing Castiel's ring. 

Tristan understood now why Dean hadn't been able to bring himself to go to work today, "Why don't I go make us some burgers," he said hoping that Dean's favorite food would help a little bit. 

However, Dean just gripped his son tighter and forced Tristan to look at him, "No son you must listen to me. Don't fall in love, there's just too much to lose. If given the choice then you beg, and you choose to walk away. Don't let it get you. I can't bear to see the same thing happen to you." 

The young boy couldn't say anything in response, how could he? Tristan just nodded his head and curled up in the bed with his dad, holding him as his once strong father fell asleep in his arms.


End file.
